In late-July 2026, Ellie-Jean Coffey, a notorious and stunning Australian surfer, reached out to me via email. A few weeks before, it was revealed the the new owner of the McCandless platform, a rival model management company, bailed on paying all their models back in January.
It was a selfish and horrifying move that left many famous hotties broke and Googling info. The massive rug-pull happened at the hands of reviled English huckster Steve Pammenter, who likely made off with millions of unearned American dollars.
Since the earliest days of Shore Thang, Little Nick McCandless was a thorn in my side. He started a platform shortly before I started Shore Thang. In 2020, he tried to recruit several models that I discovered and were at the time under contract.
I sued Little Nick 3 times in small claims court in California in 2021. In 2022, I sued him in US Federal Court. Alas, early wins for Shore Thang were overturned by appeals, procedural nonsense, and lackluster legal representation. Word on the street is that Gerard Fox, somehow still a practicing attorney and alleged reptile, is being sued by Nick, his former client, in Florida.
Whatever they call palace intrigue in Florida, is happening now.
These “people” are barely human — rats, all the way up — and knowing they are spending money to litigate against each other is a proper gift, evidence of a just and loving G-d. Here’s hoping they somehow both lose and we see McCandless, Fox, and Pammenter banished to the pillory.
As is my eternally honest and confrontational style, I wrote two damning articles about Little Nick McCandless. Those articles, likely the only two pieces of genuine editorial ever crafted about Nick (he is known for buying advertorial articles and pushing them up in search results via SEO), attracted the attention of two former McCandless models.
Read more: Nick McCandless Can Only Win By Cheating, and Sloppy Seconds For Nick McCandless
One was Ellie-Jean Coffey.
I’d previously purchased content for Shore Thang from all four Coffey sisters in 2020 — surfing videos, selfies, and promo shoutouts. Right around that time, they signed with McCandless.
When Ellie-Jean reached out, to ask for a discussion about fine dining, I knew immediately what the call was truly about.
This is a truly intimate look behind the scenes.
Yes, it’s another of my adventures, wonderful to read about but tough to experience first-hand.
As a rule, I don’t date the talent.
Despite appearances, it’s not some greasy, breathless orgy over here, like Playboy 2.0 or whatever. I work a lot and when I’m not working, it’s out on the town, either in LA or Mexico City. I value my friendships and am lucky to know many unique individuals, rad people like me who do cool shit professionally and live life well/travel whenever they can.
Honestly, I wish I lived the life I was so often accused of, in court or over gossip. Hacienda in Mexico, harem of young girls, enriching myself on the sweat of others.
In truth, there are ethical guidelines and legal rules which prevent untoward advances, sexual contact, and financial improprieties. And for every rule, there exists an exception.
Ellie-Jean Coffey, clearly excused for crossing a line she never acknowledged existed, because she is completely exceptional.
After she reached out, Ellie flirted her way into my life so hard, it was almost impossible to believe. She thought I was still married (See also: Zombie Honeymoon) and even though I still consider Alex a delightful person, we are most certainly legally divorced.
I was told, without provocation, that I was Ellie’s boyfriend, whether I liked it or not.
It was unexpected. I first brushed her off. There are rules. I have manners. Blah, blah, blah…
After talking all day, everyday, for about a week, several interesting points became clear.
- Ellie-Jean Coffey has a similar personality to Zoe McLellen. I met Zoe when she was 30 in NYC and we remained super close for more than a decade. Zoe famously called me after I bailed early from a festival New York and left me an hour-long voicemail, after a colleague gave her my number. Zoe’s pilot won the television festival and we drank champagne and danced together in Manhattan. It was my first trip to New York, in 2005. Zoe is a natural, raw, and wild person… a force of nature on par with a witch, whom no one can easily refuse. Ellie is… similar (and currently 31).
- Ellie-Jean Coffey has an extensive background with therapy and the recovery community. I worked at two Malibu rehabs for five full years. One of them we sold for a lot of money. I still know that community well, even if I’ve let my own sobriety lapse, between pandemic isolation and Mexico City nightlife.
- Ellie-Jean Coffey is super quick on the uptake, incredibly bright, articulate, and intuitive. She’s also paranoid as fuck, but that seemed more a trauma response than anything. In her natural state, she’s a hippy chick, raised to be wild and free, barefoot, and outside the lines of most other people. Ferocious, clever, and genuinely funny.
- It seemed like Ellie-Jean was naked a lot, when we would have video calls or send videos back and forth on WhatsApp. I’m no nudist, but my Californian roots prefer that I never need to wear a shirt, at least when home.
- We both adore Lana Del Rey. If you know people who don’t worship LDR, maybe check in on them. Lana Del Rey is the quintessential millennial songbird. Ellie and I are both millennials.
All this plus she’s stupid beautiful, so I decided to set the rules aside for a moment.
We agreed to see how it goes… we streamed Lolita with Jeremy Irons together at the same time, down to the second — me in California, Ellie in New South Wales. We talked, texted, and/or called all day everyday for five full weeks.
And like anyone with a shared substance history, we both indulged in each other a little too much, until we were sick of it all and completely turned off. The strictly online, over the phone relationship melted down after a little more than a month.
Somewhere between out brief candle and out damn spot.
In a few weeks, I plan to post highlights from our WhatsApp texts next month. Why? They’re deeply fucking interesting and wildly entertaining. A perv and a professional creative, entangling their underground wires from different sides of the planet.
Everyone knows me as an extreme extrovert.
More about Zach and Ellie: Sexting with Ellie-Jean Coffey
I don’t know that Ellie’s unique, gifted personality comes through as clearly in her social media identity. Frankly, Ellie+sisters already appear interesting because they have a talent plus beauty.
In the world of exclusive content, beauty is a requirement, but talent is often optional.
I respect Ellie’s all-or-nothing intensity.
If you’re curious about the content she creates, I double dare you to check out the Coffey Sisters site, and specifically the Ellie-Jean Coffey page.
Yes, this all started as business, bloomed into some weird personal thing, and ended abruptly.. but for awhile, it was thrilling and uncanny.
Ellie started talking like me and I began using her phrases in conversation. We know everything about each other. I questioned my choices as a man after interacting with Ellie for little more than a month.
Ellie-Jean Coffey is provocative, and I know that people both love and hate her the exact same way that people love and hate me.
I wouldn’t wade back into that penal colony bogan lifestyle with a machine gun to my head, but I’m usually happy to share a good story, if only to roil Little Nick McCandless — and to celebrate a beautiful and brilliant individual. – Zach
